Tomorrows
by alittleskinnydip
Summary: "Makoto, don't leave me.."


There wasn't a word to be spoken, nothing that needed understanding. Everything was there written clear as day in Haru's expression. In his eyes that shimmered as if he was still staring at the water, except he wasn't and that glaze was unwelcome. In his frown that was ever present but somehow more pained than usual. In his fingertips that ran along tan skin conveying a million thoughts at once, spilling and gathering faster than he could comprehend. It was a heavy ache in his chest, a constant burning that Haru had ignored for weeks. For months. It was increasing with every passing second, with every audible tick of the clock beside his bed, with every sweet gestured hand that ran through his hair, with every thudding beat of Makoto's heart against his ear. It was impossible to bare. Haru's eyes burned from refusal to blink, because if he blinked, there was the very real possibility that he would shatter beyond repair. Haru was never one to waste water anyway.

He lifted his head every so slightly to move up to Makoto's shoulders. Those strong arms came around his back tighter, holding him closer, like some kind of sick promise. 'That's exactly what it was,' Haru found himself thinking.

"Tomorrow won't come, right?" Haru muttered almost inaudibly, his voice so small that it could have easily been drowned out by the piercing silence. But Makoto's ears were trained to Haru's every move, down to his shallow breaths or the fabric of his shirt moving against his skin.

"Of course not," he smiled. Those searching fingers opened and closed, tracing patterns into Haru's skin in useless attempts to ease his tension. He let his head rest against Haru's hair, taking in every last bit of warmth he could find. There wasn't a thing about this moment he didn't want to remember. He found the way their bodies fit against each other felt like a completed puzzle. He thought that the lingering scent of chlorine was fitting for who he was holding, and it would be there indefinitely, haunting his senses. He knew that the way Haru's hands began to tremble the harder he gripped his sleeve would be a lasting reminder that he wasn't the only one shouldering pain, but it was also a lasting reminder of care. And desperation. And a complete and total need to be next to one another. And Makoto couldn't force his mind to think otherwise no matter how hard he tried.

Makoto held his breath.

"Don't leave me."

Makoto closed his eyes.

"Makoto, don't leave me."

Makoto swallowed the sobs that rose from his chest thickly. He ignored the burning sensation that lingered in his throat, that fought against the edges of his eyes, that threatened to wreck him in every horrible way. Why did he have to say those words like that.

Makoto's arms came up around Haru suddenly, tangling fingers in those black strands one more time, finally taking one lasting deep breath. The kind that only felt right when his puzzle was complete. The kind that filled his soul with ease only when Haru was near. He shuddered when he opened his mouth to speak.

"I won't."

Haru buried himself in Makoto's shoulder that quickly became damp with tears. Haru's body shook with choked sobs wishing he could do something other than break. What this was, what they had for a lifetime, this wasn't where it was supposed end.

"You can have it," Haru cried, "You can take all of me, every single piece I have. I don't care what you do with it. I don't care if you lock it away or break it or treasure it, it's all yours, I'll give you all of it."

Haru tore himself away from his shield.

"Because... it's meaningless without you too."

In a moment, Makoto felt his world come crashing together, the bad, the good, all at once it was blurred. Haru leaned forward, their lips meeting feverishly. Their bodies fell back onto the bed, never parting for a single second. Haru's hands still desperately sought shelter with Makoto, running over his arms, over his shoulders, up to his neck seeking any place they could feel all that was Makoto. And in return, Makoto's lips parted, letting Haru in without any hesitation. The kiss was sweet if not innocent, and Haru had found a way to express his spilling thoughts, desperately hoping that Makoto would receive the message. That if their lips stayed locked for long enough, the bags Makoto had packed near the door would disappear. That maybe if their hearts beat fast enough, the train ticket Makoto bought would get torn into pieces and scattered out of sight. Maybe... just maybe if Makoto could just understand how much Haru needed him, he wouldn't say goodbye in that forbidden saddened voice. Makoto pulled away, eyes intensely locked with Haru's.

'It isn't a secret at all,' he thought. Makoto understood perfectly clear. Haru never had to cry out so loud. That was the hardest part. That was the part that hurt most of all.

"Don't leave me," Haru repeated, hot tears spilling without warning once again.

Makoto shook his head, slowly bringing a hand to Haru's cheek, lifting away the tears as gently as he could.

"I won't."


End file.
